Great Expectations

Have you guys ever heard of this app called Timehop?
Basically you can allow it to access your social media and it will pull up what you did one, two, three+ years ago on that date in time. Sometimes it is hilarious to read the shenanigans I was up to back in the dorm or even back on my old street. 
Sometimes I read things I thought were funny or insightful and cringe.

Thinking of where I was 4 years ago just starting my freshman year of college I realized I came in with all these expectations. As previously mentioned I had dreams of being a business major with tons of cool friends where we hang out at a coffee shop where they know my name and order. I would be in a million organizations all while having a high GPA. 

As far as my expectations when it came to my spiritual walk?
I didn't really have any; or at least none that I can recall.
I was not pursuing Jesus daily and I would only sometimes thumb through my Bible.
I was in a place where I thought I only had to pray when someone was sick and since I was a good girl, good things would happen to me.

I did not expect for Jesus to totally change my life forever.

My expectations seemed so silly in comparison to how amazing God used my years in college.
Instead of being a business professional marketing rep, I graduated with a degree in tourism management and started work for a non-profit Christian camp the Monday after I walked the stage. Yes, I did frequent Mugwalls coffee shop at one point, but God took my dream of "cool friends" and instead showed me what real life biblical community looked like right in the middle of College Station, Texas. All these things were so. much. better.

Most importantly I came to fully understand the goodness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I began to understand the magnitude of what it looks like to follow Jesus daily. 
I began to see that while it is obviously the best thing that will ever happen in your life, it is also incredibly hard.

It is not easy to choose joy daily. It is not easy to willingly surrender to the Lord.

It's actually crazy hard because it is our flesh waging a war against us.

For example, my flesh is a total control freak//worry wart.

We had to do this team building exercise in one of my classes last semester that was supposed to be an example of trust and following another person. The idea was to pair up with someone you don't know, be blindfolded and have them guide you around the perimeter of the building. Being the anti-social people we were, me and one of my best friends teamed up together.

I freaked out.

She was not purposefully making me step through a pit of snakes or anything. In fact she kept me on the sidewalk for the most part. There was even a terrifying point where I had to trust her to lead me up a couple of shallow stair steps. The whole time I could not even trust one of my friends to ensure that I would not bust my face open on the concrete, let alone some stranger. Other members of the class laughed at me. 
(so much for us trying to be anti-social...) 

Sometimes this is how I feel with trusting the Lord. God is the absolute best thing in my life, and eternal life through Jesus is undeniably the best gift I will ever receive. Yet when it comes to Him leading me somewhere I am not comfortable with--whoa I am pretty sure I can lead myself, thank you.

So let's take all these things and fast forward to my post grad life.
I am in a totally new town, 2+ hours away from my family and friends and wearing J. Crew to a camp environment every day. 
Not where I had originally imagined myself.

And that is okay.

I am learning a ton about obedience to the Lord.
I recently listened to a podcast that talked about our motivations towards Christian obedience.

The fact that I am found in Christ should compel me towards obedience. [2 Corinthians 5:14]

The fact that God's loving gaze never leaves me even when I try to do things my own way should inspire me to do be obedient where He calls.

Daily reminders of the Lord's goodness through his Son taking the sins of the world on the cross and defeating death to give us life should spur my desire to do His will.

Why do I cling to my expectations if I've seen that God is going to transform them for my good and for His glory?

I don't need to be in control and know why He has me here. 

The fact that I am His is enough.

The cross was enough.

Top 5 Friday

This week has certainly been eventful, so I thought I would post my top five favorite things from this week, David Letterman's Top Ten style.

Five:
Yeah, maybe I am a little late in the game (who starts a blog in 2014?), but I am just now discovering this photo editing app called VSCO Cam.  This app makes my top 5 faves for the week because it makes me feel like a hipster photographer even though I'm super not.

I took this one over 4th of July of my outfit for the day. 

Four:
Netflix. 

Consistent with my 'behind the times' theme here I finally gave in and got Netflix. What's next on my horizon? Spotify premium?

Anyway it's been great for watching old reruns of The Office which is my go-to way to relax after a crazy week. I also discovered this show called Once Upon a Time. Two episodes in, so far so good!

Three:
Andy's Frozen Custard. This place is a Tyler favorite for the locals and tourists alike. I have been getting chocolate concrete with Reese's peanut butter cups mixed in because I am a child. Actually, I am a child because I ate Andy's frozen custard for dinner yesterday. Whoops.

Two:
Saw You First--Givers.
I am all about this song this week. My friend Camille (see below) told me about Givers and they are so great! Definitely on my Summer 2014 playlist.
If you know me, you know I love live music. There is a YouTube channel called LaBlogotheque that does these amazing "take-away shows". This is a live version that the Givers recorded in a kitchen. You can even see them using kitchen items for percussion. How cool?! The song actually starts at about 1:40 if you wanna skip ahead.

One:
I get to spend this weekend with one of my dearest friends/roommates, Camille! She spent the last couple of months interning with an inner city ministry called City Impact in the Tenderloin neighborhood of San Francisco. This girl loves on people so well and is just such a great reflection of Jesus! We are going to explore her hometown and Dallas this weekend which will be a blast. Post to come about our findings! :)

So no matter how crazy or hectic your week may have been, take Maria's advice and remember a few of your favorite things and then you won't feel so bad! 

Whatever is lovely

"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things..." Philippians 4:8

Don't you just love the word "lovely"?

It's one of the most beautiful words in the English language, in my opinion.
Even the thought of that word triggers images in my mind of simple flowers or a pretty dress that Grace Kelly would have worn. It makes me think of a quaint small town or that feeling you get when everything, even for a moment, seems right with the world. 
It just has that airy peacefulness about it.

There is a feeling even better than that airy peacefulness that can come only through Christ. Jesus can give us the type of peace that surpasses all understanding of this world. In fact, the verse right before this promises us this.

Philippians 4:8 calls us to 'think about these things'. Things that are true--not lies from the enemy; things that are honorable--not things that bring guilt or shame. Thoughts that are lovely; not those that are ugly are hateful. 

I am learning that my thought life and prayer life should be so intertwined that my natural thoughts throughout the day can be simple, honest connections with the Creator of the universe.

With that, I am so guilty of letting my mind wander throughout the day. A day that can start in the Word and listening to Rend Collective on the way to work can quickly fizzle into being overwhelmed, stressed and negative. By the time I drive home I am left frustrated by red lights and wondering why I am even here.

"Prone to wander, party of one."

Yes, I could mope about how things did not go just right, or dwell in the land of negativity and comparison in my mind, but He has called me to so much more than that. 

This is where grace comes in.

I don't have to dwell in my guilt. I can have freedom through Christ! There truly is power in the name of Jesus. 

Jesus died on the cross and rose again for all our sins-past, present and future.

Amazing! 

Powerful. 

Beautiful. 

Lovely. 

Grace.

That is what I will think about. 

along for the ride.

Hello and welcome to my blog!

I have secretly been wanting to start a blog for a while now but for some reason never followed through. I wanted a space where I can write about how Jesus is continually changing my life, share recipes and crafts from Pinterest, fashion, music I love, travel dreams, whatever! Yes that may seem a little eclectic and scattered, but that is my life--an organized mess.

Well, here we go.

Now I am going to preface this blog by asking you would come into it with little to no expectations. I'm not sure how often I will post or what they will look like when I do.
I say this because I have found that I come into any new experience with TONS of expectations. Sometimes I will lie in bed at night creating scenarios in my head, and when considering major life decisions I will tirelessly scour every possible situation. 
But for what? Can I, by worrying, add one moment to my life? {Matthew 6:27 has the answer} (spoiler alert: no. no I cannot.)

You see, the Lord is teaching me right now a little thing about expectations and control and how His plans are so. much. better.

I graduated high school and started my freshman year at Texas A&M thinking I would leave with a business degree. JOKES. I joined organizations, took many different types of classes, and changed majors. A lot of other ups and downs along the way came in four years but all that to say is almost everything I thought would happen totally did not go down that way. 
But I LOVED the way it all turned out!
So why do I continue to think my way is better?

So here I am, taking a giant leap of faith in Tyler, Texas, trusting that God has me here for a beautiful purpose. I'm just along for the ride. :)